janoue

My twin sister who lives on the opposite coast as I do wrote this on my wall in facebook.
"Janice they are fish. They barely have a brain little know their own personalities. Be like me and post more pics of your kids. PLS.
Jewels"
Does your families or friends act like this I was really offended. I mean I had my mother in law here for two months and she loved the fish and talked to them and babies them and they got used to her.
My feelings are hurt. I don't understand whats so wrong with my wanting to share my interest with my friends on facebook.

luna

I'd be offended, too! That's really rude and thoughtless, nevermind that it's completely inaccurate. I'd be sure to let her know just how inappropriate you found her comment to be and remind her of the old rule - "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything".

I don't use Facebook, so I don't know how it works, but if it's like most other sites, it should allow you to "moderate" the comments of others. If you can, I'd delete her comment to further illustrate that you don't appreciate those kinds of statements.

voiceless_kat

LOL....my friends all think I am a little wingy anyway, so probably not the best person to tell you that I believe you are fine!!! My sister and nieces also just think I am nuts, and my husband says I am a little eccentric...LOL again. Whatever makes you happy....

Some things I only say to people on this forum...because i know they "get it". Maybe we just have a stronger nurturing gene....when I watch my fish, I feel so serene and happy. They are fascinating anyway, but maybe those of us who go a little overboard are seeing greater things. Sometimes I find I have to stop myself from talking about my fish (or cats) cause the other person(s) just aren't interested.

But anyone who is interested, loves to read, watch, write and post; take photos; look at photos, listen...Just take her comments with a grain of salt ...and know that all of us who share your interest, understand fully.

Don't stop!!!! Val

MissMTS

Don't worry, my family makes fun of me too. You aren't crazy, you just have a hobby that most people don't understand. I agree with voicelesskat. I usually only talk about fish a lot to people on the forum because they actually understand. My husband is getting more patient with the fish talk thank goodness Your fishies are lucky to have such a good mommy and don't let others who are ignorant get you down! You have our support!

janoue

Ya, I just said replied " oh by the way, you look stupid as a blonde, you should dye your hair darker. Oh and when you start buying your books someplace other than the checkout line at the supermarket, we can sit down and have a conversation. So don't sit there and make comments when you intelligence is not on the same level as mine". Were identical twins. Were best friends but were also each others worst critics. Sad and silly i know, but I think this is the most hurtful thing she has ever said to me. So glad I have the forum and my fabulous fish friends.

King_Snuggles

Dont feel bad (I would have let her have it as well) I talk to my fish all the time. My friends think im out of my mind ( and I might be. . . I think im addicted to caffiene). My grilfriend thinks its cute that i do love my fish as she is the one who got me the tank for christmas.

janoue

my husband just told me I can get a 55 gal for cory cats. I'm like WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!

MissMTS

Wow! He sure came a long way from being upset about two small bettas! Congrats! You can keep a lot more than just cories in a 55 gallon, though a whole tank of just cories would be pretty impressive.

janoue

I'm not getting it for two years lol.

Allie

Yeah I know how you feel. When I try to show my family & friends cute fish pixs their eyes seem to glaze over with boredom. I really only have my boyfriend who shares the fish hobby with me. But he is the one who buys it all for me, lol.
At least I have we internet fish friends.

Firecracker

Oof, yeah, rude!

"be like me"

I've tried pretty hard most of my life to NOT be like normal people.

janoue

Thats so true! She knows this too. My twin and I are living in different worlds. She married into a very wealthy, religious family. She talks about God the way I talk about my fish. I don't complain, I just don't listen and when she stops talking i'm like " ya i hear ya". So I can't exspect her to understand . She's spent her who life trying to be like me. I have my own bookkeeping business, now shes taking classes so she can have her own bookkeeping business. I had a baby, ten months later she had a baby. I just don't get it, and what makes her so bitter.

luna

janoue

I'm a very sensitive, deep feeling person. When i'm passionate about something i'm passionate about it. I've never done anything half way before. We shall see.

luna

capekate

Oh my goodness.. Janoue, you posted that to your sister? IMO that was a heck of a lot more rude than what she wrote to you. I guess in her own way she was telling you that she is jealous of your attention to the fish and not to her. BTW I have an identical twin sister myself.. and have had some roaring fights in our time as well. Believe me, I understand!
Sometimes we forget to treat our family like we treat our friends ( and forum friends).. with respect and consideration. I sure hope the two of you will be able to resolve this.. before it really gets out of hand and you end up not talking to each other for awhile... ahem... that last bit is from experience and not criticizing you...
Just roll with it.. our families do not understand the love we feel for this hobby and most say we are 'obsessed' with it. Thats ok by me... I am .. what I am... haha..

~ kate

Firecracker

Try explaining to your fairly old-fashioned mother that you do not intend to have children. that's a fun one.

Oh and add dirt bikes into the mix ... she's not a fan of those, either. Keeps trying to talk me into selling. So I can have babies of course.

luna

janoue

Yup just fishies for me from now on. I had two babies in two years. My oldest starts school in the fall and my youngest the year after that. I'm ready for a career now.

Kayin1470

I used to be that kind of person, someone who didn't really care about fish, I'd pass by them quickly in the fish store, people would have them and I didn't want to hear about them. I thought fish were boring. I was unable to get any of the pets I wanted to have (snakes, ferrets etc.) and one day, my older sister (who is married and lives out of town, she was visiting) bought me a Beta. and a little tiny half tank. wow. I can't explain or even comprehend the total change that occurred. I love my fish, I have great respect for them, I can't stop buying more, I really LOVE my fish. I find myself telling everyone about them all the time, and I wonder how I ever acted the way I used too. and I have my sister to thank. she doesn't keep fish and went out on a limb and bought one as a surprise. My mom let me keep it and here I am, still a fish newb, almost 3 weeks into the hobby, making mistakes, being so upset if a fish dies (I have lost three, two rummies at the beginning of getting my tank from shock I think, and one neon either from my mom turning on the lights and being loud, or some type of poisoning =\.) and learning like crazy, looking everything up, researching more, finding out about fish that I don't have or might not even get (but who knows when impulse will strike right?) and I love every second of it.

chickadee

Kayin, the compliment of fish you have in your tank is not complimentary to your betta. The tetras are fin nippers and will have your betta with infected fins if he is left in there with them. Also for a 29 gallon tank you have way too many fish in there. For having the tank only 2 weeks and knowing (as it states in your Aquarium information) about the nitrogen cycle, you know that your tank is not cycled and that the fish go in the tank AFTER it is cycled. The amount of fish you have in there will make the cycle process long and drawn out as the amount of ammonia they are producing is going to need a really lot of bacteria to deal with and the initial cycle would have died out from such a bioload as you have in the tank. You need to be doing ammonia testing and nitrite testing at home every day and probably doing big water changes every day to keep ahead of the "poisoning" caused by the addition of the ammonia in the water. Testing at the petstore in your case with all those fish in the water is not adequate.

I would say that you are going to lose more of those fish. Cories do not do well in uncycled tanks, and your betta is definitely at risk with the tetras in the tank. He will be having infected fins unless you are very lucky.

You made the same mistake as so many of those just starting out in the hobby. They get a tank and run out and fill it to the brim and overflowing with fish that sometimes are not capable of handling the cycle process and when it is overstocked to begin with the tank does NOT cycle normally. You have the fish now and there is no choice but to go through the cycle so the only choice is to do the water changes. I would start doing a change of half the water out of the tank every day if I were you and get a Freshwater Master test kit and learn to do the tests for Ammonia, Nitrites, and Nitrates. Then you may be able to keep your fish going.

I am not trying to discourage you from the hobby but now that you have the fish, it is important that you treat them humanely and to do this you will have to keep the levels of harmful substances in their water down and since the filter is not cycled to do this for you, the way is by water changes.

Rose

COBettaCouple

Our families act like her. They refuse to open their minds to the fact that these are our pets and that our little pets have feelings, emotions and intelligence.

King_Snuggles

most of my friends are the same way. its ok though im happier than they are

Barbrella

My family is used to me and never question or insult my choice of pets.

My friends are a little confused mostly, since not one of them has a pet of any kind, but they just accept that pets are part of who I am. They really like my fish tanks and enjoy watching them when they come over. The bettas get a lot of attention, since none of these people ever knew that fish could be so reactive and cute!

The only pets I've had that really alarmed my friends were my rats. But oh well.....

janoue

I draw the line at rats. I had a hampster once. The thing used to escape and i'd fall asleep on the couch at night and wake up to this hampster crawling threw my hair. Or I would be typeing on my computer and something would run across my hand. The hampster got given away to the kid next door who loved it and I think its still alive. That and the thing always bit me and drew blood. And I've decided no more nocturnal noisy pets. No pets that are going to run on a wheel all night long and I never get any sleep. My youngest was only a year old when we got it and we were at the pet store looking around and she pointed to this little thing and said "K Mama". and I said Oh you can say "K" you can have her and we will call her "K"!! It was another one of those girl power things that my husband didn't know about until I already bought it and he came home from work and it was there. He took a liking to the thing though and K to him. He would be laying on the couch after work with this little hampster curled up on his chest. And they would stay like that. And whenever my mother or sisters came to visit I would have to take the hampster to my bedroom because they are terrified of rodents.
My mother would knock on the door and I would open it and she would say " do you still have that thing?". And off to the bedroom K would go. So ya no more rodents for us. I'm glad you don't mind them though barb. I wish I had your tolerence of rodents.

voiceless_kat

YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!! I know I said it before, but love what you do and do what you love!!! You go girl!

Barbrella

O/T, but rats are nothing like hamsters and I've had both (plus guinea pigs and mice)

They're highly intelligent, very sweet and gentle, and are just about the only rodents who will actively seek out the company of humans.

I loved my rats just as much as I did my cats and dogs.

LuvaBetta

My brother announced to me that IHO fish were just about the lowest form of animal possible that could still be called an animal. So, yeah, I understand too. And like you, Luna, I'd MUCH rather see pics of their pets than kids!

Life would be boring, I guess, if we were all alike. It would be much more fun, though, if we could share each others' differences without ridicule or condemnation!

COBettaCouple

We'll be getting Guinea Pigs before too long. They're pretty smart little rodents and Stacy loves them.

luna